Thursday 31 March 2016

SNITCHING Ochenta Y Uno


Jamie Vardy claims that the significant increase in his pace, fitness and speed is due to having been abducted by aliens last April.

"Wowzer, me and some of the lads were training when a mother ship hovered over the Leicester City training ground and beamed up me and some of the boys. These aliens chatted some shit to us and since then my pupil's have dilated and I've run fast" claimed the England striker.

The leading UK UFO organisation UKAD were unavailable for comment.