Sunday 20 March 2016

SNITCHING Sesenta Y Tres


Gary Neville is utterly incompetent as a manager.

1) Neville joined up with Roy Hodgson as assistant manager prior to World Cup 2014 when England suffered their worst ever finals performance and their only ever group stage exit.

2) When Neville was appointed as Valencia manager, he experienced a 7-0 defeat to Barcelona in the Copa del Rey in the joint heaviest defeat in Valencia's 97 year history.

3) Since becoming Valencia boss, Neville has won 3, drawn 6 and lost 8 in the league - form that extrapolated over the season to date would see the club sitting second from bottom of La Liga.

4) And the three games that Neville has won came in the 4 matches after Pako Ayesteran was appointed as his assistant. Prior to this he hadn't achieved a league victory in 10 matches.

5) Neville cannot judge a goalkeeper. Joe Hart was a major input to England's World Cup disaster and, on arrival a Valencia, he replaced the reliable Jaume Domenech with the Timeform squiggles of Matt Ryan and Diego Alves.

6) Due to the non-strategic transfer policy of club owner (and serial Neville associate) Peter Lim, the club are not able to sign players this summer due to breaches of Financial Fair Play. Matters are not going to improve.

7) Valencia, as an institution, is entirely dysfunctional due to the war being waged on Gestifute by a cabal of British football agents linked to Gary Neville.

8) Valencia fans have had enough of Neville with chants of "burro burro burro" accompanying the white hankies as the team were lucky only to lose 0-2 to Celta Vigo today. This completed an entirely humiliating week which saw Valencia lose to bottom side and derby neighbours Levante prior to being knocked out of the Europa League by Athletic Bilbao (with Neville being sent off for being a knob).

9) Don Quixote or Burro Burro now thinks that the best way to prepare Valencia for the relegation run-in is to team up with Hodgson's England for two meaningless friendly matches. As the last 8 matches see Valencia face Barcelona, Real Madrid, Sevilla and Villarreal, this is taking the piss out of fans who he has already lost.

10) And the fans who didn't stay behind to wave their hankies left the Celta Vigo game early, an action mimicked by the myopic Mancunian who scurried down the tunnel immediately at the final whistle in a show of cowardice.

"Burro Burro Burro".